 | Law of Cat Inertia - A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force - such
as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.
|
| Law of Cat Motion - A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change
direction.
|
| Law of Cat Magnetism - All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness
of the fabric.
|
| Law of Cat Thermodynamics - Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, in which case
all heat flows to the cat.
|
| Law of Cat Stretching - A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just taken.
|
| Law of Cat Sleeping - All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as uncomfortable for the
people involved, and as comfortable as possible for the cat.
|
| Law of Cat Elongation - A cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any counter top that has anything
remotely interesting on it.
|
| Law of Cat Obstruction - A cat must lay on the floor in such a position to obstruct the maximum amount of human
foot traffic.
|
| Law of Cat Acceleration - A cat will accelerate at a constant rate, until he gets good and ready to stop.
|
| Law of Dinner Table Attendance - Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served.
|
| Law of Rug Configuration - No rug may remain in its naturally flat state for very long.
|
| Law of Obedience Resistance - A cat's resistance varies in proportion to a human's desire for her to do
something.
|
| First Law of Energy Conservation - Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will,
therefore, use as little energy as possible.
|
| Second Law of Energy Conservation - Cats also know that energy can only be stored by a lot of napping.
|
| Law of Refrigerator Observation - If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and take
out something good to eat.
|
| Law of Electric Blanket Attraction - Turn on an electric blanket and a cat will jump into bed at the speed
of light.
|
| Law of Random Comfort Seeking - A cat will always seek, and usually take over, the most comfortable spot in any
given room.
|
| Law of Bag/Box Occupancy - All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest
possible nanosecond.
|
| Law of Cat Embarrassment - A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion to her embarrassment times the
amount of human laughter.
|
| Law of Milk Consumption - A cat will drink his weight in milk, squared, just to show you he can.
|
| Law of Furniture Replacement - A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the
furniture.
|
| Law of Cat Landing - A cat will always land in the softest place possible; often the midsection of an
unsuspecting, reclining human.
|
| Law of Fluid Displacement - A cat immersed in milk will displace her own volume, minus the amount of milk
consumed.
|
| Law of Cat Disinterest - A cat's interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a
human expends in trying to interest him.
|
| Law of Pill Rejection - Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.
|
| Law of Cat Composition - A cat is composed of Matter + Antimatter + It Doesn't Matter.
|
back to top