How To Bathe A Cat

So, kitty has gotten dirty and needs a bath. We all know how much cats hate getting wet but only soap and water will do the trick. If you've tried bathing kitty in the sink (or even the tub) and gotten more scratches than a lottery ticket, the following instructions may be of help! Kids: These instructions are a joke! Don't try this - ever!

Thoroughly scrub the toilet.
Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water.
Obtain the cat and carry him to the bathroom.
In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape). CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out for anything he can find.
Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power wash and rinse" which is quite effective.
Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.
Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.
The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet, and run outside where he will dry off by rolling around in the dirt.

Sincerely,

The Dog

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How To Bathe A Cat

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