 | Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE"
them, you "PITCH" them.
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| Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
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| Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."
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| Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is -- as in: "Going to town, be back directly."
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| Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a
pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.
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| All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
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| Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried
chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana
pudding!
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| Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that
"just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
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| Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a redneck and a good ol' boy.
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| No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
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| A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
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| Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines. We don't do "queues," we do "lines" and when we're
"in line," we talk to everybody!
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| Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
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| Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast
food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
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| When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
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| Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it --
we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
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| And a true Southerner knows you don't get upset at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,
"Bless her heart" and go your own way.
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| To those of you who're still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me
in the morning. Bless your heart!
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| And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin'
to have classes on Southernness as a second language!
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| And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, ya'll need a sign to hang on ya'lls front porch that
reads "I aint from the South but I got here as fast as I could."
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| Bless your hearts, ya'll have a blessed day! |
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