H i ! Health Terms


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Home > The Joke Book > Health Terms

Humorous Health Terms

I've collected lists of humorous health terms over the years and I thought I'd combine the lists here for your amusement.

bulletAnesthesia - A Russian princess
 
bulletAntacid - What little bugs get high on

bulletArtery - Study of paintings

bulletBacteria - The back door of the cafeteria

bulletBarium - What to do when treatment fails

bulletBenign - What you be after you be eight

bulletBlood work - Getting a job from a relative

bulletBowel - The letters: A, E, I, O or U

bulletBronchitis - Extinct animal

bulletBunion - Paul's last name

bulletCaesarian Section - A neighborhood in Rome

bulletCat Scan - Searching for Kitty

bulletCataract - Fancy car: El Dorado, Coupe De Ville, etc

bulletCauterize - Made eye contact with her

bulletColic - A sheep dog; e.g., "Lassie"

bulletComa - Punctuation mark
 
bulletCongenital - Friendly

bulletCoronary - Domesticated yellow bird
 
bulletD&C - Where Washington is
 
bulletDiarrhea - Journal of daily events

bulletDilate - To live long

bulletEnema - Not a friend

bulletFester - Quicker than

bulletFibula - A small lie

bulletGI Series - Ball game for soldiers
 
bulletHangnail - Coat hook
 
bulletHeart - Causing pain to others

bulletHMO - Cable TV channel

bulletHumerus - To tell us what we want to hear
 
bulletHypodermic - Big, fat, lazy zoo animal
bulletImpotent - Distinguished, well known
 
bulletIntestine - Currently taking an exam

bulletLabor Pain - Getting hurt at work

bulletLumbar - What you build a house with
 
bulletMamogram - A short note sent to your mother

bulletMedical Staff - A doctor's cane

bulletMorbid - A higher offer

bulletNitrates - Cheaper than day rates

bulletNode - Was aware of

bulletOutpatient - A person who fainted

bulletPap Smear - A fatherhood test

bulletPelvis - A cousin to Elvis

bulletPostoperative - A letter carrier
 
bulletProtein - Favoring young people

bulletRecovery Room - A place to do upholstery (thanks Dad!)

bulletRectum - Dang near killed 'em

bulletScar - Rolled tobacco leaf
 
bulletSecretion - Hiding anything
 
bulletSeizure - A roman emperor
 
bulletSerology - Study of knighthood

bulletTablet - A small table

bulletTerminal Illness - Getting sick at the airport
 
bulletTibia - Country in North Africa

bulletToothache - A pain that drives you to extraction

bulletTumor - One more than one

bulletUrine - Opposite of "you're out"

bulletVaricose - Nearby

bulletVein - Conceited, obsessed with looks

bulletWhite Count - Number of Caucasians

bulletYawn - An honest opinion openly expressed




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