 | Teeth extracted by the latest methodists (Hong Kong)
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| Special Today -- No Ice Cream (Swiss Mountain Inn)
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| Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself (Japanese Hotel)
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| Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty. (Budapest Zoo)
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| In the event of fire the visitor, avoiding panic, is to walk down the corridor to warn the chambermaid. (French Hotel)
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| Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar. (Norwegian Lounge)
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| Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run (Tokyo)
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| Visitors are expected to complain to the office between 9 and 11am daily (Athens Hotel)
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| It is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such a thing is please not to read
notis. (Tokyo Hotel)
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| Children must enter with parrots only (Madrid Museum)
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| Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time. (Rome Laundry)
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| Up these steps for the Sunken Garden (In a Garden Center)
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| Same day dry cleaning -- All garments ready in 48 hours (Dry Cleaner's Window)
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| For your protection, the cashier will swipe your ATM and credit cards. (Next to a cash register)
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| Permitted vehicles not allowed (Road sign on US 27)
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| Be true to your teeth and they won't be false to you. (In a dentist's office)
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| After tea break, staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board. (In an office)
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| We exchange anything -- bicycles, washing machines, etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain?
(Secondhand shop)
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| Ears Pierced While You Wait (Jewelry Shop Window)
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| Illiterate? Write Today For Free Help. (Ad in a bus)
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| Cattle Please Close Gate (Outside a Farm)
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| When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles
your passage then tootle him with vigor (Tokyo Car Rental)
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| No Walking, Sitting or Playing on the Grass in this Pleasure Park (London)
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| We can repair anything. (Please knock hard on the door -- the bell doesn't work) (Repair shop door)
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| If you require room service, please open door and shout "Room Service!" (Egyptian Hotel)
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| Please leave your values at the front desk (Paris Hotel Elevator)
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| The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable. (Bucharest Hotel)
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| We are open on labor day (Maternity Clothes Shop)
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| If we see you smoking we will assume you're on fire and will take appropriate action (Non-smoking area)
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| Push, Push, Push (On a Maternity Room Door)
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| If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place (Optometrist's Office)
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| Time wounds all heels (Podiatrist's Window)
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| Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday bring it back or further steps will be taken. (In an Office)
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| Let me meat your needs (Butcher's window)
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| No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming. (Muffler Shop)
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| Pleased to meat you (Butcher's Window)
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| May we have the next dents? (Auto Body Shop)
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| Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay! (Veterinarians Waiting Room)
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| We've got what it takes to take what you've got. (Garbage Truck)
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| Out for a quick byte (Computer Store)
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| Don't stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up. (Diner Window)
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| Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop. (Bowling Alley)
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| Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat any place they want. (Cafeteria)
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| Bach in a minuet. (Music Library)
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| Drive carefully, we'll wait. (Funeral Home)
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| Elephants Please Stay in Car (In a Safari Park)
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| In case of fire please do your utmost to alarm the hall porter (Australian
Hotel)
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| Open 24 hours -- except 2am - 8am (London Pizza Parlour)
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| The Last World War. Where and When Will it Be Fought? St. Margaret's, Hartford Street on Tuesday 22nd February at
7:00PM (Outside a Church)
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| Electrical Specialist will be here on Thursday morning to show parishioners how to wire plugs and make small
repairs. Followed by a light lunch (In a Church Notice)
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| To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a
number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order. (Belgrade Elevator)
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| Do not perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension. (Austrian Ski Lodge)
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| Bargain Basement Upstairs (London Department Store) |
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