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The Rich Man

A rich man dies and goes to heaven with a briefcase by his side. Saint Peter stops him at the Pearly Gates and says "You may come into heaven but all your worldly goods must stay behind." 

The man says "I've got a special deal with God. He told me I could bring one briefcase to heaven filled with anything I wanted." Saint Peter says "This is very unusual - let me check." So he picks up the phone and starts talking to God. 

After a few minutes he tells the man "You're right. God told me you could bring one filled briefcase with you to heaven. Before I let you in though, may I see what you chose to bring?" The man says "Of course!" and opens the briefcase and shows Saint Peter it is filled to the brim with gold bars. "Gold bars!" exclaimed Saint Peter. "Why would you bring pavement?"

Three Mice

Three mice die and go to heaven. Saint Peter looks in his book and sees that these are good mice so he invites them in. "Welcome to heaven little mice" he tells them. "Look around, and enjoy the many wonders heaven has to offer." The mice excitedly scurry past him and begin exploring every nook and cranny.

A few weeks later, Saint Peter is strolling around heaven and he spots the mice all worn out and panting for breath. "What's the matter little mice? Don't you like heaven?" he says. The leader of the mice tells him "Oh, Saint Peter! Heaven is a beautiful place with many wonders to behold. But heaven is so big and our legs are so little, we're just all worn out!" Saint Peter tells them "Wait right here - I'll be right back." And when he returns, he gives each of them a set of roller skates so they can get all around heaven without wearing out.

Three cats die and go to heaven. Saint Peter looks in his book and sees that these are good cats so he invites them in. "Welcome to heaven little kitties" he tells them. "Look around, and enjoy the many wonders heaven has to offer." The cats excitedly run past him and begin exploring every nook and cranny.

A few weeks later, Saint Peter is strolling around heaven and he spots the cats all worn out and panting for breath. "What's the matter little kitties? Don't you like heaven?" he says. The lead cat tells him "Oh, Saint Peter! Heaven is a beautiful place with many wonders to behold. But heaven is very, very big and these meals on wheels are wearing us out!"

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